Enhanced Peeps Interrogation Conference

On March 1,2013, LVL1 Hackerspace in Louisville Kentucky hosted its first Enhanced Peeps Interrogation Conference, also known as E.P.I.C. This scholarly get together was hosted in conjuction with the Irregular Friday Movie Night Screening of "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" Many distinguished members and non-members of LVL1 presented exhibits and demonstrations to further knowledge in this specialized area. Presented below is a brief summary of the event along with scientific information gleaned.

Waterboarding

The keynote address of the conference was presented by the Director of Legal Evil for LVL1. A step by step demonstration of waterboarding was conducted. For this important address, a LARGE peep was recruited.

The waterboard consists of several planks arranged as a pivotting table.

The subject is stapped onto the table and placed in a water collection tank.

A cloth is placed over the face and the subject is tilled head down.

Water is then poured over the cloth repeatedly.

The cloth is removed, leaving the peep intacked.

Most Disturbing Element of Demonstration

Speaker seemed to be overly familiar with process. During demo, he referred to peep as Bob. An audience member was selected at RANDOM to offer interrogation questions. This participant seemed to have crafted his interrogation question prior to event.

Electric Motivation Chair

The next demonstration was given by a member and non-member team. This collaboration utilized Maxwell's Equations to advance their goals. Team built their chair prior to the event, utilizing a laser cutter, voltage multiplier and a taser.

Here we see the fine craftsmanship used in the chair.

The test peep is fitted with a fashionable tin foil hat.

Wires are carefully applied for her comfort.

A taser is wired into the circuit and ZAP.

The hat is wetted for additional effect.

Most Disturbing Element of Demonstration

When all was ready for throwing the switch, the presenters were asked what they planned on asking the subject. The presenters then replied, "What questions?"

Olde Style Iron Maiden

The next presenter is a long time non-member who surprized us with his entry. Not being one to dampen the party, the Director of Legal Evil welcomed the presenter to the podium.

The presenter displayed an egg. A bright shiny egg. A pleasant yellow egg. An egg he proceeded to open.

Upon opening the egg, a cold chill enthrawled the audience as they beheld an Iron Maiden.

A test peep was secured in the device for all to see.

The original test peep was not properly secured and promptly escaped. He was replaced by one of his yellow brethern for the rest of the demonstration.

The deviced left quite an impression on the subject. Request to have the peep drink water to see if it leaked like a fountain were not allowed due to time constraints.

Most Disturbing Element of Demonstration

As mentioned before, this was a last minute entry. So last minute that the presenter was not aware of the event but came for the movie. Upon hearing the conference theme, he mentioned that he just happened to have this device in his car.

Double Barrel Racks

Scholarly symposiums such as this, often attract conflicting view points. Different presenters have opposing view points and proceed to bash one another. But at LVL1, the presenters proceeded to bash peeps.

In this corner, hailing from a member in good standing, Rack A. A simple and elegant rack for the modern, sleek and smooth aesthetic.

Peep is secured with straps to the head and lower body.

A few turns on Rack A and most are surprized by the deep cuts of the straps into the subject.

In the opposing corner we have Rack B. With its olde world style and jagged appearance, no one thinks this is sleek and everyone thinks its gonna hurt.

Again a subject is strapped in. The neck and lower body are the fastening points of choice.

This is truely the effect expected.

LVL1 is a community, so both presentation camps gladly puts their works together for a photo op.

Most Disturbing Element of Demonstration

Although everyone expected the stretching, none predicted the garrotting experienced on Rack A.

Pressure Vessels

An under appreciated material around us is air. Air, the vital, gaseous mixture that fills the lungs and birthday balloons alike. So what can be so bad about air? The next presenter said its quantity that matters.

Behold the Pressure Chamber. A simple container hooked to a pump just off camera.

If you take away some air, the pressure drops and the peep expands. With this expansion comes the stretching and cracking of the surface.

When the air is returned and pressure normalized, all that remains are a few scars.

But if you test air removal then air addition should follow. And that is exactly what happenned next. The forces exerted on the peep crushed it.

Most Disturbing Element of Demonstration

Prior to the demonstration it was pointed out that the changing air pressure would distort the voice of the peep. The voice would go from hellium high to sulfar hexafluoride low. The presented simply said "Cool!"

Bond Villian Channeling

Hollywood has given mankind many examples of characters out to save the world. LVL1 isn't familiar with those characters and instead watched Bond Villians. The presenter was conspicuously bald and holding a bald cat. The presenter had a stereotypical accent and paid his membership dues in krugerrands.

While being strapped into the laser device, many wondered out loud what the presenter hoped the peep would say.

The presenter turned to the peep and informed him that information was not expected. He only expected him to die. (queue Goldfinger theme)

We realized that this member was not getting into the interrogation spirit of the event and asked him to stop. A fight ensued and the peeps was scarred.

Then the peep was scarred again.

Most Disturbing Element of Demonstration

I can't think of a single element of this presentation that wasn't disturbing.

Interrogation From The East: Water Drops

Recycling seemed to be the theme here. As evident from the pictures, the materials were recycled cartons, cups and straws.

First you place the peep under the straw. Then you fill the cup.

Water drips upon the peep until madness comes.

Most Disturbing Element of Demonstration

Eco-friendly interrogation is an actual thing.

The Ionizer

All presentation were conducted in well lit areas, except this one. The device used was an ionizing surface treating thing. LVL1 has this device and gosh darn, one of our members was going to use it.

Step one consists of attaching the peep to the end of a yard stick.

Step two has two members "firing up" the old ionizer.

Step three has the "peep on a stick" placed under the ionizer/electron shower head. The eerie glow tells you its working.

Most Disturbing Element of Demonstration

After the demonstration, one of the audience members asked if peeps were supposed to taste "ozone-y".

It's a Microwave - No Mystery

Food hacking is a trend among hackerspaces and LVL1 is no different. What escaped our Food Hackathon last year was presented this year. Peeps and radiation.

Most people do not realize how well suited the modern microwave is for this kind of interrogation. The microwave is well lit on the inside. Most have a rotating display to ensure excellent viewing conditions. And lets not forget the handy timer.

The timer was set at 18 seconds and at one second we saw this.

Most Disturbing Element of Demonstration

After the symposium, I was offered a smore by one of the hostesses. I remarked on the good taste and asked what brand of excellent marshmellows were used. The hostess simply walked away in silence.

Interrogration and NASA

Surprisingly, a spontaneous disclaimer was recieved via telegram from NASA during the symposium. This is likely not related to the presentation. Two methods of rocket interrogation were demonstrated.

Method one puts the peep into a pnuematic gun barrel. The peep is deformed in the process and never recovers.

Method two straps a peeps to a rocket body mounted onto a pneumatic gun. Said rocket body was launched and not recovered.

Most Disturbing Element of Demonstration

Rocket Science.

What We Have Were, Is A Failure To Communicate

The symposium ended with a presentation singing the virtues of communication or "a night in the box".

What is this "box" I speak of?

What earns one a night in said "box"?

Most Disturbing Element of Demonstration

The presenter used the worst southern accent ever heard at LVL1.

Wrapping Up

Ideas presented. Demonstration given. Peeps Eaten.

The Most Disturbing Element of the Entire Conference

Although the peeps never broken down and spoke during the interrogations, the LVL1 members were often giggling.

Truly Mad Scientist's LVL1 Splinter Group

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